Don’t live for the weekend, please

Don’t live for the weekend, please

This is the most difficult post I’ve ever written.

It’s a post I never thought I’d have to write. And it’s a post that I wish – more than anything – that I didn’t have to write.

Four weeks ago my beautiful mum, who many of you know as ‘granny’ and who has been my funny companion on many of my weekend trips, had a heart attack.

By the grace of God, she was ok; saved by an exceptional GP and an incredible medical team. She spent a few days in hospital, then was discharged, weak but smiling.

I can’t tell you how relieved I was seeing her back home, back in her own bed, surrounded by photos of me and my daughter, amongst the other things she loves and cherishes.

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Soon after her first heart attack, Mum went back into hospital suffering with breathlessness. After many x-rays, scans and blood tests we were told that mum had lesions on her liver and her lung. Cancerous lesions.

Roll forward to today: 3 more weeks have passed since they’d spotted mum’s lesions. She’s had a biopsy and we’ve spoken to the oncologist; the news is of the darkest kind.

Mum has advanced lung cancer and they cannot treat it. If they do, it could make her very poorly and not extend her life. I may now only have a few months left with my mum (I feel sick even writing that sentence).

This is the woman who gave me life. The woman who accepts me for who I am and who loves me unequivocally. The woman who I turn to for everything and who is there for me, whenever I need her. How can the world take her from me? How dare the world take her from me.

I am utterly, completely, inconsolably devastated. And I am living every single day, every second, one moment at a time – spending every heartbeat filling my mum’s world with love and kindness.

Which is why I am writing this post.

I am not living for the weekend, which before this I was. I am living for the NOW, alongside gorgeous, brave, dignified granny.

And I am DETERMINED not to let this ugly fucking disease beat us.

 

What does this mean for Travel Candy?

 

It means that I’m opening up Travel Candy to guest bloggers during this time. These kind souls are fellow bloggers who have stepped forward to offer me their writing support so that Travel Candy can carry on bringing you weekend inspiration.

Because I need to focus on other things right now.

I hope you’ll continue to engage with and support Travel Candy during this difficult time – and you’ll welcome my guest bloggers with as much love as you’ve given me.

I’m sure you will, because you’re epic, and I appreciate each and every one of you, deeply. Dearly. Forever.

Until next time, my friends – I’m off to start a new journey. I know it won’t be an easy one. But I tread it with hope and with my heart as my guide.

With love and light,

TCx

“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no-one can walk it for you.” Rumi

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14 Comments

  1. April 21, 2016 / 11:01 am

    So sorry to hear that Claire. My thoughts go out to you and your Mum.

    • Travel Candy
      April 21, 2016 / 11:22 am

      Thank you so much Jane

  2. April 21, 2016 / 1:32 pm

    My thoughts are with you and your mam, Claire. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I think you’re totally right about not living for the weekend. We should all aspire to make the most of every day, especially with our loved ones xx.

    • Travel Candy
      April 21, 2016 / 1:43 pm

      Thank you Beverley – and for your lovely post, which I’ll be putting up soon Cxx

  3. April 21, 2016 / 4:58 pm

    So sorry that you and your mum are having to go through this Claire, I hope you continue to make some great memories together for as long as possible. It’s so true that you never know what tomorrow will bring, so you’ve got to make the most of every day. K x

    • Travel Candy
      April 21, 2016 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you Keri. xxx

  4. April 21, 2016 / 6:55 pm

    So so sorry to hear this. My father too passed away from lung cancer, 6 short weeks after being diagnosed. He worked long hours at a steel mill, never visiting the doctor because he was too busy. By the time he went to one it was too late. Ever since then I have tried to live in the present knowing that so many people work to save up money for retirement only to never have the chance to use it. My daughter will never get to know her Pop Pop. My heart goes out to you.

    • Travel Candy
      April 21, 2016 / 7:48 pm

      Oh, goodness. I’m so sorry that you’ve trodden this path too, Christa. It is the most awful, hateful reality and I wish no one had to experience it. Thank you for taking the time to comment. My heart goes out to you too xx

  5. Sue McFadden
    April 21, 2016 / 7:09 pm

    My heart goes out to you Claire. Be strong and remember you’re loved Sxx

    • Travel Candy
      April 21, 2016 / 7:49 pm

      Thank you, Sue. That is a very lovely, kind thing to say xx

  6. Shaun and Caroline
    April 21, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    Beautifully written as we would expect. Our thoughts are with you. Make as many memories as you can while you can and cherish every second. You are about to show everyone who knows you, just how strong you are… With love.xxxx

    • Travel Candy
      April 22, 2016 / 3:32 pm

      That’s a lovely thing to say, thank you for taking the time to comment xxx

  7. Julie McMorran
    April 22, 2016 / 4:06 pm

    Claire I am so, so sorry. It just isn’t fair that our parents – those remarkable people who love us unconditionally and shape so much of who we are – have to leave us. Enjoy what every precious moment you have left together, say all the things you want to, laugh together when you can and simply keep being who you are. My love to you xxxx

    • Travel Candy
      April 25, 2016 / 7:25 pm

      Thank you so much Julie. Your words are beautiful and so true. I have no idea why we have to lose the people who make us. It hurts so much. I really appreciate your message. xx

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